


river lethe

by jangjoos



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M, Polyamory, angst to fluff to angst to fluff again, okay why is there literally no jaeyeol tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 01:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jangjoos/pseuds/jangjoos
Summary: but a thousand years of loneliness and pain was nothing compared to a single moment of listening to Sungyoon’s heartbeat, of feeling Daeyeol smile against his skin.





	river lethe

_Remembered with love, Lee Daeyeol._

Before them stood a headstone, something as still and dead as what it was meant to commemorate. There were flowers scattered about, symbols of life, vitality, fertility. Jaeseok held on to Sungyoon with one hand, held a bouquet of these flowers in another.

“I can’t believe they wrote something so _lame_ ,” Sungyoon muttered. His expression was cold, so cold and unchanging that Jaeseok might have thought it was carved from the same stone as the cemetery gates.

He gripped Sungyoon’s hand tighter. After spending hundreds of lifetimes together, there was little doubt that they will see him again, but it was always so jarring to sit through a funeral, always so heartbreaking to watch as family members bid what they thought were final goodbyes.

Most of their lives were spent waiting. Waiting for each other, waiting for rebirth, waiting for peace, and waiting for the day death did them part. Daeyeol always told them that every lifetime should be lived to its fullest, no matter how monotonous or ultimately useless it seemed. He always wished for his lovers to stop _waiting,_ to live for themselves for once, but Jaeseok rather thought that waiting for the two of them was the only reason he held on anymore. Without Daeyeol, this world would be as colorless as the flowers on his grave.

He let go of Sungyoon’s hand and stepped forward, setting his bouquet down on the freezing earth.

“Rest well, hyung. Please wait for us.”

Many would say that immortality was a curse, that eternity was a burden and death was inevitable. And yet, Jaeseok often wondered-

\---

-what _is_ immortality?

That seemed like a simple question to answer. If the definition of immortality was simply being unable to die, then Jaeseok wasn’t immortal. He had experienced death multiple times, watched his loved ones die hundreds of times. But then again, what was the definition of death? If it was simply ceasing to exist, then that means he’d died before, but never truly _died._

And then, perhaps immortality isn’t the inability to die, but simply the ability to live, to exist. Then, by that definition, he was functionally immortal because he’d existed, and likely will exist across all of eternity.

Did that make sense?

Jaeseok groaned, resting his head on the table in front of him and almost knocking over his latte in the process. After twenty three years of waiting in this lifetime, he had finally begun to remember his past lives, but it frustrated him to no end that he hadn’t yet met Daeyeol or Sungyoon. Waiting was always the hardest part, because he didn’t know whether they live in a different country or speak a different language or even exist in this life, or if they _remember_.

This cafe was a significant location to Sungyoon, in particular. For one, it hadn’t changed much across three or four of their rebirths, preserved and sacred for so long. If he had begun to have recollections, he’d have come here as soon as possible. So Jaeseok waited for him, had been waiting for a while now, arriving at the same time every day for a cup of coffee and to study for his exams.

“Excuse me, can I take that?”

Jaeseok turned around. Before him stood a tall brunette man, around his age but perhaps a few years older. He nodded mutely, watching as the man walked away with his latte mug. He wore a regular barista uniform, but there was one thing different, namely the white flower in his breast pocket.

As if he could tell he was staring, the man looked back from the front counter and smiled in Jaeseok’s direction.

_Daeyeol._

And that’s when he realized, the moment all this waiting finally came to fruition-

\---

-he’s been waiting for this moment, has waited so long to chase down this elusive thief.

Jaeho tightened his death grip on the pistol, finger over the trigger, breathing heavily. The man who called himself _Y_ cowered before him, blonde hair drenched with sweat, but there was something inexplicably courageous about the way he met his eyes, something brave about the way he lifted his chin.

“It’s over,” Jaeho growled, hearing the familiar _click_ of the gun as he loaded it. “Any last words, punk?”

The man took a deep breath and closed his eyes. From here, he could hear _Y’s_ heartbeat, faint and almost undetectable but there nonetheless, the only noise that existed amidst the sleepy concrete jungle that surrounded them. It wasn’t an understatement to say that Jaeho fucked him up pretty badly, that he was amply disarmed and injured before the killing blow. It definitely wasn’t a clean job, but it was a job well done.

“ _Daeyeol.” Y_ barely managed to rasp, and Jaeho takes this cue to pull the trigger.

And that’s when Jaeho, no, _Jaeseok_ realized, the moment he knew that he'd have to wait another lifetime to see him again. The loud _bang_ of the gun was incomparable to the deafening silence that followed when the only noise, Sungyoon’s heartbeat, stopped.

\---

Jaeseok could easily hear Sungyoon’s heartbeat when he was pressed up against him like this. To be honest, he could really have gone for a bag of popcorn, but standing up would mean disturbing the sleeping boy on top of him. There was a cheesy rom-com playing on the widescreen television, and such a small couch could hardly fit the three of them, but they managed.

Daeyeol attempted to lean on Jaeseok’s shoulder, but ultimately gave up with a huff.

“Why do you have to be so _tall?”_ He muttered indignantly, to which Jaeseok laughed and ruffled his hair.

It’s nice. It’s peaceful, and nothing happens. These were the best lifetimes, times when they could just enjoy themselves and be _together._ Reaching over Sungyoon’s torso, Jaeseok grabbed his glass of cola from the coffee table, but of course Sungyoon chose that moment to shift in his sleep.

Jaeseok yelped, spilling a significant glob of cola onto his favorite shirt, and Sungyoon blinked awake as a consequence. He sat up, immediately turning his attention to the television.

“What the _fuck,”_ he exclaimed. “Did you guys seriously let me miss an entire episode?”

“You’re not going to apologize for indirectly causing this?” Jaeseok demands, pointing to the large stain on his shirt.

Sungyoon glared at him. “That’s payback. Wake me up next time. Or, like, pause the video,” he replied.

“You want us to pause the entire thing for you because you can’t stay awake?”

Netflix becomes chill when Daeyeol decides to shut both of them up by kissing Sungyoon right on the lips. Jaeseok couldn't imagine how he would fare in a lifetime where-

\---

-they don’t exist.

Jaeseok didn’t know how he knew, he just _knew_ this. In this lifetime, there wasn’t a Choi Sungyoon or a _Y,_ a Lee Daeyeol or even a Daeta. It hadn’t been long since he started to remember, but he knew this.

He wanted to scream, had locked himself up somewhere and screamed multiple times throughout this life. This was so much, too much. Sometimes one of them didn’t exist, and that was painful. But both of them? That was nearly unheard of. Jaeseok asked the locals, he’d searched online and stalked what seemed like thousands of social media profiles, but his searches always came out empty.

Their cafe, the one that had been preserved through generations seemed to have closed down. How fitting.

Maybe Jaeseok should have taken this opportunity to explore the world, to live for himself, to laugh and love and experience things. But without his sweethearts, without Daeyeol and Sungyoon, what was the point?

And so it’s back to waiting again. For many, many years he waited-

\---

-and it was moments like these that made all that waiting feel worth it.

Daeyeol’s lips were, to put it simply, _heaven._ When Jaeseok kissed him, he felt paradise descend upon earth, felt eternity wash away on the river Lethe. He tasted centuries worth of memories, yet somehow, also manages to forget. He wanted to get closer, kiss him deeper, but Sungyoon had better ideas at this point, pulling him away to get some affection for himself.

Perhaps they had eternity together, but Jaeseok felt that every moment they spent felt fragile, temporary. He knew now, knew that the universe could yank the rug from under his feet in any given lifetime and take them away. Perhaps countless rebirths, countless years of waiting still stretched before him, but a thousand years of loneliness and pain was nothing compared to a single moment of listening to Sungyoon’s heartbeat, of feeling Daeyeol smile against his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> proud of this one!  
> drop a kudos and a comment if you enjoy my writing :D  
> my twitter is @bojooch if you want to talk to me or smth


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